Laughter, Awe, and the Art of Belonging

I often say that psychological flexibility includes the ability to laugh. To laugh at others, to laugh at ourselves, and to laugh at circumstances and all that is happening in the world—even the painful parts.

I remember, as a young girl, probably around nine or ten years old, playing a game of badminton with my brother. We must have hit the shuttlecock into the net fifty times in a row while repeatedly saying the word “shuttlecock.” Before long, we found ourselves rolling on the ground in laughter. It was an extraordinary moment—not just because of the laughter itself, but because of what it created between us: a warm, fully connected moment arising from the unfettered laughter of two children playing a game in the worst possible fashion while loving every minute of it.

We couldn’t breathe. Yet somehow, in that loss of breath, in that brief inability to take in life-giving oxygen, life itself seemed to bloom.

Looking back, I wonder if what I remember most vividly is not the laughter itself, but the profound sense of belonging it created. We were laughing together, almost as if the boundary between us had briefly disappeared. For a few precious moments, there was no agenda, no achievement, no productivity, no politics, and no fear about the future (not that nine-year-olds are necessarily fretting about the future). There was simply shared humanity.

It strikes me that perhaps this is why laughter feels so restorative. It temporarily dissolves the illusion that we are alone. Indeed, perhaps the deepest forms of connection occur when we no longer experience ourselves as separate…from other people, from other species, or from the Earth itself. As Thích Nhất Hạnh observed, we do not simply coexist; we “inter-are.”

Perhaps belonging is not something we achieve. Perhaps it is something we remember, briefly and beautifully, when the illusion of separateness falls away. Laughter is one such pathway. But it is not the only one. There are other moments in life when the boundaries of the self seem to soften—moments of wonder, beauty, vastness, or reverence that remind us we are part of something much larger than ourselves. We call this experiences awe.

One such moment happened while I was standing in my garden, holding a running water hose. Suddenly, I froze at the sight of a hummingbird hovering less than two feet from my face. It looked at the water, then at me, then back at the water and back at me again. As if seeking safety or permission, it cautiously dipped into the stream. To my surprise, another hummingbird soon joined. The two of them darted in and out of the arching spray of water, suspended momentarily within a tiny rainbow.

I stood completely still, mesmerized and filled with awe. I wanted time to stop. In that moment, I was not simply observing nature; I felt part of it. There was no fear, no urgency, no striving…only presence, connection, and the profound sense that the boundaries separating me from the living world had briefly dissolved.

Increasingly, research suggests that these moments of laughter, awe, synchrony, and connection are not merely pleasant experiences. They may represent fundamental pathways through which human beings remember that they belong—to one another, to the natural world, and perhaps even to life itself.

Possibly, belonging is not something we must achieve. Perhaps it is something we rediscover in those brief and beautiful moments when the boundaries between ourselves and the rest of life begin to soften. And perhaps this remembering is more important now than ever. In a world that often rewards productivity over presence, certainty over curiosity, and division over connection, we may need to intentionally cultivate experiences that remind us we belong.

So, don’t forget to laugh. Seek out moments of awe. Stand quietly in a garden. Watch a bird. Look up at the stars. Share a meal. Tell a funny story. Let yourself be moved by beauty, by wonder, and by the people and living beings around you. These moments may seem small, but they may be among the most important experiences we have: brief opportunities to remember that we were never separate to begin with.

Personal Reflection: Coming Back to Belonging

Take a moment to settle and find a place where you can pause without interruption. If it feels comfortable, close your eyes or soften your gaze, allowing yourself to arrive fully in the moment.

Now, gently bring to mind a time when you experienced deep laughter, awe, wonder, or connection. Perhaps it was laughing with someone you loved, standing beneath a night sky, listening to music, watching a child play, or encountering an animal or a place in nature that stopped you in your tracks.

Take a few moments to remember that experience as vividly as you can.

As you hold that memory in awareness, notice what happened to your sense of yourself. Ask yourself:

What became less important in that moment?

What did I feel connected to?

Did the boundaries between myself and others, or myself and the world around me, shift in any way?

Notice what happens as you revisit that experience.

Next, gently widen the lens. Consider that moments of laughter, awe, and connection may not simply be pleasant experiences. Perhaps they are moments when we briefly remember something that is easy to forget: that we are not separate from one another, nor from the larger living world that sustains us.

As you prepare to move on with your day, carry this experience with you.

ACT Micro Practice: Remembering Belonging

Set aside five minutes this week to intentionally seek out a moment of connection. You might:

• Laugh with someone you care about.

• Step outside and notice something beautiful or surprising.

• Listen to a piece of music that moves you.

• Watch the sky, the trees, or another living being with curiosity and presence.

As you do, gently notice:

• What happens to your attention?

• What happens to your sense of yourself?

• What happens to your sense of connection with others or with the world around you?

If you notice a moment of awe, warmth, humor, or belonging, pause for a few breaths and allow yourself to fully experience it. Then ask yourself: What would it be like to live as though this sense of belonging were not the exception, but the truth I most often forget?

Research Spotlight: The Science of Remembering We Belong

Increasingly, psychological science suggests that experiences such as laughter, awe, and connection to nature are not simply pleasant diversions from everyday life. They may represent fundamental pathways through which human beings remember that they belong. For instance, human laughter both upregulates the brain’s endorphin system and increases the sense of bonding between those who laugh together (Dunbar, 2022). Laughter increases feelings of closeness and belonging. In an excellent paper by Piff and colleges (2015), it was demonstrated that experiences of awe temporarily reduce self-focus (”the small self”) while increasing prosocial behavior and feelings of connection to others. The authors argue that awe helps situate us within larger social and ecological contexts. Finally, in a study by Liu and collegues (2022) it was found that feeling connected to nature predicts greater psychological well-being and increased pro-environmental behavior. Importantly, actual contact with nature partially explains these effects, suggesting that experiences of belonging to the natural world change how we feel and how we act.

References

Dunbar, R. I. M. (2022). Laughter and its role in the evolution of human social bonding. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 377(1863), 20210176. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2021.0176

Piff, P. K., Dietze, P., Feinberg, M., Stancato, D. M., & Keltner, D. (2015). Awe, the small self, and prosocial behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108(6), 883–899. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000018

Liu, Y., Cleary, A., Fielding, K. S., Lin, B. B., Settele, J., & Fuller, R. A. (2022). Nature connection, pro-environmental behaviours and wellbeing: Understanding the mediating role of nature contact. Landscape and Urban Planning, 228, 104550. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.landurbplan.2022.104550

Events and Resources:

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